A Fan In Heaven
A Manchester United fan dies on match day and goes to the heaven in his Red jersey. He knocks on the old golden gates and sees St. Peter.
He says; “Hello mate.” St. Peter;”I’m sorry, no Man United fans in heaven.” The guy astonished and screams;“What?”
St.Peter; “You heard,no Man United fans in heaven.” “But,oh come on,I’ve been a good man in my life”, answers the United supporter. “Oh really”, says St.Peter. “What have you done, then?” “Well” said the supporter, “One month before I died,I sent fifty pounds to the starving children in Somali”. “Oh” says St.Peter. “Anything else?” “Well, three weeks before I died, I also gave fifty pounds to a homeless guy.” “Hmmm. Anything else?” “Yeah. A week before I died, I sent fifty pounds to the Society For The Protection Of Children.” “Okay”, said St. Peter, “OK.Please wait here a minute while I speak with the god.” Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks at the Manchester United fan’s eye and says, “I’ve talked with God and he exactly agrees with me. Here’s your a hundred fifty back, now get the f..k outta here.”