Pilot Hammond was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer’s field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where Hammond noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmer’s wife came down the steps. Hammond couldn’t believe how gorgeous she was.
“How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and work the plantation?”
“I trust my wife,” the farmer said. “She’s never been unfaithful.”
“I’ll make you a little bet. If I take your wife upstairs, she’ll be unfaithful. If not, you can have my plane. But, if she is, I get your fiddle.”
The farmer said “It’s a deal.” So, Hammond and the farmer’s wife go upstairs. About thirty minutes passes, and the farmer picks up the fiddle and starts playing it.
“Be true to me, Be true to me, Be true for just one hour. Be true to me, Be true to me, And his airplane will be ours.”
Another thirty minutes pass, and suddenly he sees his wife coming down the stairs. He asks her if she stayed true to him. She walked over, picked up the violin, started playing it.
“He kissed me on the lips, He kissed me on the tits, He kissed me in the middle. He kissed a spot that you forgot, and you lost your fucking fiddle.”