Todd passing by his son Brent’s room was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an yellow envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Dad”.
With the worst premonition, Todd opened the envelope and read the letter with shaky hands:
Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Debbie and she is so nice-even with all her gothic makeup, piercing, tattoos, and her tight leather clothes. But it’s not only the passion dad, she’s pregnant and Debbie said that we will be very happy.
Even though you don’t care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a caravan in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more kids with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.
Debbie taught me that poppy doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine, lsd and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for Aids so Debbie can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don’t worry Father, I’m sixteen years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Brent.
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center commode. I love you and mom! Call my cellphone when it is safe for me to come back home.