A young guy was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient bald headed Nicaraguan man with a long, white beard. “I’m lost,” said the young guy. “Can you put me up for the night?”
“Of Course!,” the Nicaraguan man said, “but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will perform the three worst Nicaragua tortures on you.”
“Ok,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old and ugly as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner,bald headed man’s daughter came down the stairs. She was young, charming, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night, he could bear it no longer and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear. Near dawn he crawled back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest.Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Nicaragua Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”
“Well, that’s pretty simple,”he thought.”If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.”
He picked the boulder up,walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: “Nicaragua Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.
As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Nicaragua Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.”